Many of my friends in college have been maintaining long distance relationships since graduation. That is roughly 9 months of phone calls, skyping, texting, and planning trips for rekindling and reconnection. No more dorm rooms and sexiling roommates.
I am in awe by the commitment. I admire their will and desire to maintain a loving relationship while they sort out their individual lives.
Friend #1. Location = New Orleans. Dating ~ 9 months with boy in Boston.
Unemployed. Went to Korea, now working part time at a Gym. Applying to jobs. Soon moving to Philadelphia.
Friend #2. Location = DC. Open relationship ~ on and off 4 years with boy in Hartford.
Paralegal.
Friend #3. Location = Nashville. Dating ~ on and off 3 years with boy in New York
Intern in Hartford, then unemployed for a month. Moved to Nashville to do psychology research.
Here they are, doing what they love or figuring things out and AT THE SAME TIME are maintaining a relationship.
What is the secret? Is it the strength of the relationship prior to the distance? Is it the love and connection that is unbound by nothing?
I like using them as examples because it is what I couldn’t do. After one month of long distance post college, a month of pure torture in applications, resumes, and rejection – my relationship was not a priority. It became a side dish, the peas you pick out and toy with your fork. I wanted space, he wanted verbal support. I wanted to configure my life plan alone, he wanted to share. I finally threw the peas away because I was done force-feeding what added very little accent to my unfinished main course.
I know, distance or not, you will go through crashes and uncertainty in your life which can affect the relationship you are in. Relationships that last, in my opinion, are ones that are composed of couples who honestly communicate and accommodate/support accordingly. When life takes a turn, you need someone who will understand how you recuperate. Depending on each person, it can be leaving them alone, it can be companionship; it can be advice and research, it can be solely listening.
My friends are at a point in their lives where they can execute self-growth and balance a relationship at the same time. They are accommodated for in their desired ways and in the way they deserve.
I, the Creole Aubergine, am still baking in the oven to solidify the aroma and flavor of who I am. The side dish will be determined post baking. Or, because I’m classy, let’s make that wine. I am very, very happily cookin' - good lookin'.
Happy Valentine's Day <3
