This is the 3rd time in the past week that I have cried multiple times in a day. I cried on a rock, I cried in the shower, I cried on my bed, and I cried multiple times on the phone. But one thing I learned from all this crying is that I cannot cry and continue to sulk in my misery.
I am not incapable. I am not incompetent. I am a great person who has a lot to offer. I am personable, enthusiastic, motivated, and wishes to do good in the communities I surround myself in.
At first it was hard to say this to myself when I cried. It was hard when Bryan got the job and I didn’t, or when I had that terrible interview, or when Mama told me I was better off being a lawyer.
But today, when I didn’t get the job, I cried, and told myself: “I am capable, I am competent. I have a lot to offer. And someone, that job, will find me and say: ‘Where were you all this time?’”
It will happen. The timing will come.
you're young and have a lot going for you. It's a rough time to find a job and there are a lot of people in your same position. Just give it time and things will work out. No more crying.
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin up, Hana! The rejections will make the eventual - and inevitable - job offer that much sweeter!
ReplyDeleteIt's sort of like the college admissions process. They have recommendations, and they have prior experience, and they have 15 minutes, in a room with you, but that combination of things can't bring them close to being able to know how great you are as a person and employee. I had to deal with a terrible co-intern but my boss didn't say anything bad about her in her review! So you see. You are up against people that aren't real. They're just pieces of paper and no flaws. The right place will get you, they'll get "it" from you. Until then, enjoy yourself! I hope [besides this stuff] all is going super duper well with you!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with what Vignesh wrote. The right job is out there and you will find it. Sometimes you have to keep your line in the water a long time before you catch a decent fish. (Hey, for some perspective next time we run together ask me about the worst year of my life.) Also, remember that you entered the job market at one of the worst times in DECADES for college graduates. That's a big grain of salt with which to take the rejections. Until that job comes along, keep coming out to help with XC practice! You'll make a huge difference there, especially with the girls team, and who knows? Maybe there's a bigger role for you at the school...
ReplyDeleteCoach Sanders
I have actually been following your blog since your first post...
ReplyDeleteI COMPLETELY feel you on this one. It's horrible. It feels like such a huge smack in the face to put in so much work over the past 4yrs and leave with what feels like nothing. We both know our worth--so it sucks even more when we don't get what we think we deserve. I truly feel like I've been in limbo since June and have not felt like myself in a while. BUT I do believe that everything that happens (doesn't happen), happens for a reason. This is all practice for what's to come.
It is difficult to come from a small school where we are big fish in a small pond (i hate cliches) and jump right into the real world--ESPECIALLY NYC. Kill me now, please. Load the gun. But I am learning that I am no longer the best person for the job, but among the best. I still have much to learn. We just need a new approach and accept the reality of the matter. IT IS HARD WORK ...to work. As recent grads, we all more or less look the same on paper, and that's the hard part. WTF, JUST KNOW I'M AMAZING AND FABULOUS AND ALWAYS GET THE JOB DONE!
I try to stay positive as well. But it is very hard and also find myself in miserable moods. I just wanted you to know that I am on the other side of the country going through the same thing, and you are NOT alone =) ...a lot of us are in the same boat. I LOVE YOU! We will be ballin' out before you know it! *hugs* Don't give up.
hang in there hanako! you must be destined for greatness.
ReplyDeletehere's a poem by frost that might be encouraging (quite famous and i'm sure you know it, but still):
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.